The problem with SAHM isnt the fact the mom stays at home
Its the fact the mother becomes the leader of the household, while the husband is not at home
This leads to emasculating any sons, they may have & the daughters vagina worshipping the mother
The sons have to be sent off to apprentices, clubs etc., while their dad is at work
Sons have to be in male company at all times
Leaving a son with a mother all day is pure poison
Rejecting Modern Women 
This is completely wrong. Boys are not girls. Daylong care in the presence of a good mother doesn’t feminize them. That’s just ridiculous. This is like saying that your maid becomes the head of the household because she’s in the house when you aren’t.
Having a homemaker is not the same as having a household leader.
Teaching a boy that he is so emotional and malleable that the mere presence of his mother should be limited in the extreme is what is dangerous, not the fact that his mother is there to do mothering. Trusting the Boy Scouts of America more than the woman that you married is not just bad advice, but provably silly.
What makes you think boys arent influenced by the loss of a masculine figure on a daily basis?
The maid does indeed become the head of the household if you’re not there …
Who else is delegating duties & authority if you’re not there?
Children are highly malleable … thats why theyre called children are they not?
No name calling please
Provide an intelligent rebuttal
What makes you think this isnt correct, or not relevant?
I am confused. If we don’t want mothers raising their children, then who should be taking care of them? Should mothers work outside the home and have the father stay home to raise sons? what if there are also daughters? Mom is in charge when she’s the only one at home because she’s the parent. It’s both a role and relationship. Is it really better to farm children out to child-rearing facilities in which the children are segregated by gender and only exposed to care givers of that same gender? I’m truly not going for a sarcastic, snarky, or condescending tone – I find it difficult to communicate TOV in text. I am sincerely asking the question. How does one raise one’s own children if having authority over your own children (of opposite gender) is somehow pernicious?
Outsourcing childcare isnt a viable option
But a male nanny is far superior to a female nanny
The modern family where the father leaves the family for 10 hours a day is too dysfunctional to raise a family
The correct environment to raise a family is a sustainable situation where both parents are able to raise the child, like a farm or a tribe
The modern family is an artificial construct
If the father isnt at home, the children suffer massively
Also …
My point is women dont have the ability to raise boys or girls
Women teach girls to be attractive
Women dont teach girls how to have a relationship with a man
It’s men who should be staying at home to raise the children
Its a waste of men who should be building civilisations, instead of wage slaving for their families
The modern family, with the father away for over 10 hours, destroys children
I agree that having a masculine presence is important for children while growing up, but a feminine presence is just as important. How else are children to learn how to have relationships out in the real world?
A girl who is raised by her single father will turn out fine…so long as she also has aunts, grandmothers, etc to turn to when needed. A boy who is raised by a single mother should likewise have uncles, grandfathers, and so on. If you have both sexes involved safely in the child’s life, and the single parent is loving, present and capable, I see no problem with it.
Your approaching this from a female point of view
Boys lead relationships, women dont have the authority to teach boys how to lead a relationship
Also girls need to learn how to have a relationship with a man
Especially how to build a relationship with a man where she’s able to keep her dysfunctional irrational hysterical behavior in check
Women reinforce a daughters hysteria, women dont teach girls how to correct a girls irrational behaviour
Something a woman will never be able to teach a girl
I think you misunderstood the title of the blog. It is regarding the lack of a masculine presence.
In addition, the situation you lined out ” the single parent is loving, present and capable” is a non sequitur.
How many single parents are “present” ?
How many single parents are “capable” of masculine / feminine ?
How many single parents can demonstrate interaction between a father & mother ?
I grew up in a situation where my father died at a very early age and the outside masculine presence was from pious men/women at the church we attended – my mom never dated nor brought a man around – she was far to busy busy working and providing for my brother & myself (she is the most pious woman I have ever known- she is a amazing woman).
Yes, I do have a exceptional mother and have had extraordinary male influences on me but it came with a cost – late learner, poor self esteem, and a host of other problems that are not commonly present with a male role model presence.
Dont lie to yourself and think a single parent can do “just as well as two”. If so, please show 1 well designed published study in a reputable medical / social science journal.
Given the state of “frivdivorce” in the US and the behaviors of single mothers with kids acting like 20 year old strumpets will mean the children will turn out “just like the single parent” ie Apples dont fall far from trees – this cannot be denied.
Take a look at the UK to see how the kids behaviors mirror the single “mums” – the same is happening in the US.
Btw, as I kid- all I wanted was a dad like the other kids.
~Shalom
Nice, I am a SAHM with four children 6 and under. The two boys are 5 and 6. I agree with you that a mother is the wrong person to prepare boys to be men. Women instinctively protect what they believe to be ‘safe’ and therefore don’t encourage the command and conquer mentality that God has given males.
It is my desire that by puberty, our boys are doing much of their learning with their grandfather (my dad) while my husband is working.
They need to leave their mother’s side to not wind up being emasculated versions of her – they need to be in the company of men to imitate the sex they were created as.
In the meantime, my husband works as a storeman and so like you say, very much working for a wage to provide for his family. In his absence, I make every effort to defer to his authority… ie: remind the children of what daddy likes us to do, tell them he is in charge so I’ll have to ask him before making decisions that I’m not clear on, keep the house clean and tidy for his arrival. Whenever I say ‘tidy up time littlies!’ my 3yr old girl asks if Daddy’s coming home 🙂
I see it as my duty to continue parenting under his instruction, and then to step back as helper when he is home.
My 10yr old neice was shocked when we went to pick up my husband one day from work – that I moved over to the passenger’s seat! It annoyed her and she asked me why I didn’t keep driving.
My boys said to her – Mummy CAN drive, but only when Daddy’s not there 🙂 Amen!
In his weekends, my husband decides what he wants to do with his family. Sometimes that’s church, sometimes it’s playing at parks, sometimes it’s taking the boys to chop firewood with him. Sometimes he takes all the littlies out for a fun day and gets me to organise the house while they’re all gone.
He is in charge, and he does life on his terms.
Our children are HIS children and I’m allowed to come along for the ride.
I accept this and gratefully relish the role I am in 🙂
That’s great, thanks for pointing out the best solution is a strong nuclear family, which is what nuclear families are great for
Im guessing you’re roots are from a strong close knit community?
I’m from an intensely patriarchal family with my parents and 3 of my 4 siblings and their spouses and children living within the same town as us, sharing a Shabbat meal every Friday evening together. My grandparents live on my parents farm in a house that my dad built for them. My mother’s twin and her husband and 6 children live on the same road as my parents.
Yep you guessed right 🙂
My husband comes from a solo mother scenario with one brother. He was raised largely by his grandfather who has now died. We moved over to N.Z. 7 years ago, and although his roots are so different, my husband loves our big family!
Wow 6 children, I hope you continue your mothers legacy, a large family is essential for raising healthy children
Children born in two children families, dont have anywhere the same resilience & intellectual development as a large family
I’m also guessing you were attracted to your husband, because he was raised by his grandfather, masculine successful men are raised by successful fathers
Does your husband or children intend on keeping the more esoteric traditions of your community? Like building your own house & other customs
Building your own house is surprisingly easy … especially large log cabins
Apologies if I offended you on not having a larger family, I was just wondering if you were planning on having a larger family, I’m sure your kids are great
I have a tendency to put my foot in my mouth, lol
I’m not sure if this was addressed to me? If so, you haven’t offended me at all! Even if did – never mind… feelings are just feelings! You should never worry about that when discussing things with me 🙂
Meanwhile, about large families – my husband and I are happy to have as many as God gives us… I always hoped for 7 (no particular reason for that number except that it’s my favourite besides 33 and well that’s just not possible!) and our eldest son (6) is hoping we have 12 – mostly boys 🙂
We have 4 so far, some sets of twins would be fantastic to get things going 🙂
A large log cabin would be beautiful!
My dad has made a small log cabin that he used to use as a display for his woodstoves business. He’s now retired it at the back of their farm and it is so wonderful to stay in… it’s like stepping back in time. No power but a lovely open fire he made to cook meals and keep warm – and playing games and reading by tilly light is so peaceful. My husband and young ones stay as a whole family and imagine what joy the simple life held for families back in the day. Nice watching the little boys chop and gather firewood with daddy too 🙂
Men learn to be a man from a man. I currently assisting a couple of friends a dealing with a this exact situation (ie take this as a case study).
The 21 yr old guy has been home schooled and cannot think/behave nor communicate in a rational manner. The mother is a delusional psychopath and wears the pants in the family and their behavior is Jerry Springer “live”. Btw, this a very well to do family in So Cal which is not cheap.
The children needs to spend time “seeing” & “watching” dad in action while he explains his actions and the associated virtue (ie “show & tell”)
~Shalom
The mother needs to learn how to build compliance
Basically she needs to learn how to dominate herself
This is a technique I developed, after applying it successfully on women with no men to dominate them
She needs to force herself to do a chore she hates, when she’s the most tired or exhausted
This causes her need to be submissive autonomous, basically she dominates herself
This way she doesnt need constant dominance, she generates her own submission
This technique is suprisingly effective on women …
This is also why women do menial chores
They teach themselves how to be autonomously submissive
This is why most women iron etc